


It's okay, I'm right here.

by ThatDutchFangirl



Category: Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Bolivia Special, Death Road, F/M, Fear of heighs, First Kiss, James May - Freeform, Jeremy Clarkson - Freeform, Panic Attack, Richard Hammond - Freeform, Top Gear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 10:30:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7973560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatDutchFangirl/pseuds/ThatDutchFangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Richard is extremely scared of heighs. When it gets dark outside on the 'Death Road' in Bolivia, he has a major panick attack and needs help desperately. </p><p>(I got inspration for this fic from the Bolivia special, where James May admits he is terrified of heighs)</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's okay, I'm right here.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! 
> 
> I wrote this fic for the first person to welcome me in the wonderful world of Tumblr. : thatdankhammondlover  
> If you are a Richard Hammond fan, I suggest you should check out her tumblr page! It's great and full of lovely fanfics! Thanks for getting me started darling xx
> 
> (you can find me on: mydearrichardhammond)
> 
> Anyway, I'm from the Netherlands, so English isn't my first language... pardon my grammar :)  
> This is my very first Richard Hammond fanfic so...
> 
> Enjoy!

It must have been at least two and a half hours since Richard had driven his car into that stupid ditch. Of course, James and Jeremy had left him, as they were supposed to according to the top gear code. Out of fear of being left myself if my car broke down, I stayed behind with Richard and helped him getting his car out of the ditch. How far James and Jeremy were on the road right now we didn’t know for sure, but they must have been miles ahead of us. 

Richard and I had decided to stick together. Since we were driving on the so called ‘death road’ I was glad that we did so, and I knew Richard was glad we did as well. Before the four of us entered the road, Richard admitted that he was scared of heights. And not in the way he was scared of bugs… he really was beyond terrified and warned us that he wasn’t in the mood for any jokes. James and Jeremy found his confessions quite amusing though and shared some laughs. But, the way Richard was behaving all nervous and insecure, I knew he was truly afraid. 

Maybe it wasn’t that bad that James and Jeremy had left us. At least the mocking had stopped. The rest of the crew had decided to go ahead with them after the ditch accident. I explained to them that Richard probably wouldn’t mind a little peace and quiet anyway. The two of us were moving along the road in a very slow pace. Our cars weren’t in great conditions anymore, so we couldn’t go much faster, even if we wanted to. It started to get dark outside, and we weren’t even half way there yet.  
In my rearview mirror, I could see that Richard’s left headlight had given in. ‘Richard?’ I asked through my radio. ‘Yeah?’ He answered right away. ‘Your left headlight isn’t working…’ I spoke. ‘Uh, yeah, I noticed that… I can barely see anything, I’m going to drive right behind you and just follow your lead okay?’ He asked. There was something off about the way he spoke. ‘Alright’ I answered. 

I was feeling sorry for him. I thought looking down the road was frightening, even though I had no problems with heights. I could only imagine how Richard felt. We would keep contact every now and then through the radio, but the darker it became outside, the less I heard from Richard. Eventually, the night had completely settled in.  
Extremely slowly, we drove along the dangerous road. I was in front, Richard was right behind me. Sadly though, my car decided to give up on me. After I accidentally bounced into a big hole, my vision ahead became even worse. My headlights were barely functioning anymore and I couldn’t see more than a few feet ahead. The world around us seemed to become even darker than it already was. I couldn’t see where I was going and I was scared of driving into the abyss. 

I spoke through the radio. ‘Richard, my headlights are barely working. Maybe we should stop and fasten some torches on my roof to improve my sight.’ Richard didn’t answer. I looked out of my window and noticed that Richard’s car had stopped behind me. ‘Richard?’ I tried again. Still no answer. My mind told me something was wrong, so I stopped the car and got out. I hurried past the mountain walls and made it to Richard’s car. 

I opened the door on the passenger’s side and looked inside. It was an awful sight. Richard was leaning over the steering wheel, his face buried in his hands. He was breathing extremely loud and fast. It sounded more like gasping actually. ‘Oh my god, Richard! Are you okay?’ I immediately jumped into the car and grabbed his arm. He lifted his face and looked at me. His eyes were wide and full of terror, tears were streaming down his face. What on earth was happening? ‘Richard honey, it’s alright, please calm down, hey… look at me.’ Richard looked at the steering wheel, then back to me, and then to the wheel again. He was completely lost. His breathing didn’t slow down. 

‘I’m sorry… I’ll just… uh, go… ‘. Richard stammered. He was making panicky noises. He squeezed his eyes shut and banged his head softly on the steering wheel. I had truly never seen him in any state like this. He was totally freaking out. I knew his fear of heights was something serious, but I had no idea it could affect him in any way like this. It was a truly sorrowful sight. ‘Richard please, calm down… it’s okay, I’m right here. You’ll be alright… I promise.’ My words didn’t seem to be helpful at all as Richard kept rubbing his head on the steering wheel while muttering to himself. ‘Get me out of here, please, get me out of here… help me.’ 

I was sitting next to him helplessly, tears forming in my eyes. It was so terrible seeing my lovely friend like this. Then, for a few seconds, it seemed like Richard was calming down as he lifted his head again. But then suddenly, he opened his door and got out of the car. ‘I’ve got to get away from here!’ he yelped. Oh no… I didn’t hesitate and jumped out of the car right away. I ran around the back of the car to stop Richard from walking away. If he walked back down this road in the dark, accidents were going to happen for sure. I stepped in front of him and pushed him back. 

‘Are you insane?!’ I yelled as I pinned him to the mountain rocks. ‘You are not going anywhere!’ I looked around desperately, not knowing what the hell I should do next. ‘Let me go!’ He cried out, trying to make his way around me. ‘NO!’ I pulled open the backseat door. ‘Get in!’ I ordered. ‘No, please, I just want to get away from here! He whimpered. When he started pushing me aside with his legs, I grabbed his shoulders, and pushed him into the car with all the strength I had.  
Startled he landed into the backseat on his stomach. He turned onto his back right away, willing to escape, but I was faster. I jumped into the car as well pinning him down with my whole body. ‘What are you doing?! Get of me! I just want to go home!’ Richard cried helplessly. I quickly wrapped my arms around his shoulders in a tight hugging position, burying my face in the crook of neck, making sure he wasn’t going anywhere. 

Richard wasn’t giving up on escaping though and kept trying to break free. But, the lack of space in the car and my arms around him prevented him from pushing me away. Eventually he gave up and let his arms fall down his sides defeated. ‘Fine’. Richard closed his eyes and sighted deeply. I remained silent and listened to his breathing. Eventually, I felt his chest rising in a slower pace. I still didn’t dare to let go. I hugged him tightly until he finally seemed to calm down a little. 

‘What can I do?’ Richard whispered softly. ‘I’m so scared, I want to get out of here’. ‘It’s okay, I’m right here’ I assured him. ‘I’m so scared’ He repeated. ‘Just hold me…’ I answered. Richard wrapped his arms around my back immediately. He sighted and closed his eyes. I took a deep breath. He’s going to be fine. Richard’s body felt really warm. His hair was damp against my face. After a few minutes, Richard had mostly calmed down, and his breathing was back to normal. ‘I’m so sorry’. He whispered. ‘I’m really ashamed….’ He looked at me sadly. ‘It’s alright sweetheart, you don’t have to be ashamed of anything.’ I smiled at him. ‘Thank you’. He answered, looking into my eyes. 

We didn’t break eye contact for a while. It was only just then when I realized the exact situation we were in. I was lying on top of Richard Hammond, in a dark car, hugging him… his arms on my back. He was fine, he had calmed down. I should probably let go of him and get up now. But he still just looked so helpless and lost… Richard was breathing slowly. I could feel the warmth of his breath. His arms were still on my back. Okay, I should definitely get up now. Why am I not getting up? I looked at Richard’s face. A tear was still lingering on his cheek. Poor sweetheart… 

Also a little confused about the whole situation, Richard was staring at me. Richard has the most amazing eyes. It doesn’t matter if they look happy, sad of scared. They always look beautiful. Neither of us broke eye contact. Without really thinking about it, I leaned forward and gently kissed him on his cheek. Richard blinked twice and averted his eyes. I just wanted him to feel better. I leaned forward again and planted another kiss on his cheek, really close to the corner of his mouth this time. Richard closed his eyes. 

I knew I had to stop. I knew I had to get up, excuse myself, and maybe even get back to my car. Richard probably wasn’t truly himself again already. If I would go on, I would regret it in the morning. Richard wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore. But I didn’t want to stop. I pulled out my hands from underneath his shoulders and placed them on his cheeks. Richard kept his eyes shut. I also closed my eyes and without further thought I closed the final gap between us. Richard’s lips felt soft and a little wet from his tears. They felt just perfect. 

Richard didn’t kiss me back. In fact, he didn’t react at all. He just kept his eyes shut. I had crossed the line… Sadly, I pulled back and placed my hand next to Richard’s body, ready to get up. I had totally screwed up. But then all of the sudden, Richard opened his eyes, smiling softly. ‘Hold up’. He whispered. I stared into his eyes when he placed his hands behind my neck. It felt like a dream when he gently pulled me closer and kissed me on my lips tenderly. It was the sweetest kiss in the world.

I placed my hands back on his cheeks right away and started kissing him back. Kissing Richard, was by far the best feeling I had ever experienced. If we were kissing because secretly, we’ve always wanted to, or because it was just what we needed in this moment, I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. I fully gave myself to Richard, whose hands were sliding from my neck down my shoulder blades. The kiss was slow, passionate and simply perfect in anyway. 

We were kissing for a long time, completely forgetting the dark and scary world outside. It was just him and me. I wanted to feel as close to him as possible. After a long while, we broke the kiss and he placed my head on his shoulder. I sighted and buried my face in his hair. He kissed me softly on my head and a comfortable silence settled in. No more words were needed. Jeremy and James were probably worried by now, but that didn’t matter. We weren’t going anywhere. We were safe in each other’s arms, just as it should be.

**Author's Note:**

> Well.... I hope you guys liked it. I don't have any experience with panick attacks of any kind or whatsoever, so I'm sorry if it's not all that realistic, I just improvised. 
> 
> Please leave a comment, tips are of course welcome! And if you are also a fan of The Walking Dead, perhaps you would like to check out my other fanfic as well!
> 
> Thank you for reading xxx


End file.
